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Lisa's avatar

1.

…of being hedged and captive in her childhood home…

Not sure if maybe it should be “hedged in and captive…” or “hedged in and held captive…” To me, “hedged and captive” sounds odd.

2.

Through the glass, a metal work desk and white cabinets ran the length of the far side of the room. We could make a hand-held unit right now.”

Two comments:

- I think an addition would be helpful in the first sentence:

Through the glass, he could see a metal work desk and white cabinets running the length…

Or

Through the glass, a metal work desk and

white cabinets running the length of the far side of the room were visible.

Or

Visible through the glass, a metal work desk and white cabinets ran…

- Missing quotation mark before “We could make…

3.

At that time, when he and Tabitha worked closely and regularly together — regularly followed close behind by James’s ever-present and much-needed nurse, he developed his secretive plan…

Do you want a second dash instead of a comma after “nurse”?

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