Discussion about this post

User's avatar
Lisa's avatar

1.

Everything was barebones and plain, almost misleading, in its simplicity and its corresponding absence of candor or color.

I don’t think there should be a comma after “misleading” since it’s referring to the simplicity. That’s the way it reads in my mind.

2.

“So what do we do?” Jeremy asked. I’m not exactly excited about going down a dark staircase.”

Missing quotation mark before “I’m.”

3.

“Wait!” Jeremy commanded in a harsh whisper and grabbed Charlie by his knobby shoulders.

Maybe I’m just being picky, but I’m having a hard time picturing Jeremy holding a tire iron in one hand and grabbing both of Charlie’s shoulders. Maybe he should grab one shoulder?

Expand full comment

No posts