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1.

…yet readily absconded his flashlight to…

“Absconded” does not sound right to me here. Maybe “surrendered” would work better?

2.

“It doesn’t,” David said, stepping further into the concrete cave. His fingers tightly intertwined into the sixteen-year-old hands of the woman he’d been married to for over three decades.

These two sentences, I’m guessing, should actually be one sentence.

Also, are David and Olivia holding both of each others hands? Or just one hand? When I read plural “hands,” I imagined them stepping further into the room holding both sets of hands and it seemed awkward, but maybe since they are so happy to finally be together, they are holding both of each other’s hands.

3.

…even with its surges of rapid passage followed by slowly ticking passes of the second hand,…

Just a funny comment…young people these days would probably say, “What’s a second hand?”

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