It was time for a change, Gordon knew. But he’d stagnated so long, either unable or simply unwilling to relinquish his grief, that he didn’t know if change was even possible anymore. He sat at the tiny round table in his tiny square kitchen, unemployed for a grand total of only seven hours. That was a change, at least, albeit one he didn’t expect.
Gordon looked both ways on the street and thought about crossing. Should he run?
Probably just me, but I had to read this twice because I thought he was running to help the woman, not running away. Maybe: ... and thought about crossing to get away from the danger. Should he run?
Other than that, I’m just so impressed with the storylines and depth of characters you are creating. You are so creative! Very compelling.
Gordon looked both ways on the street and thought about crossing. Should he run?
Probably just me, but I had to read this twice because I thought he was running to help the woman, not running away. Maybe: ... and thought about crossing to get away from the danger. Should he run?
Other than that, I’m just so impressed with the storylines and depth of characters you are creating. You are so creative! Very compelling.
Tweaked it. Thanks!
I can't believe I have to wait weeks now to find out what happens next!
"He’d brewed a cup of plain Lipton tea earlier, took the first sip too quickly, and scalded the side of his tongue."
Should "took" be "taken", to match the past participle of "had brewed"?
FWIW, I agree with Matthew... that the tense should likely be the same.
Either *He* brewed ... (implied he) took ... (implied he) scalded...
-OR-
*He'd* brewed ... (implied he'd) taken ... (implied he'd) scalded.
I'll take y'alls word(s) for it. Changed to taken.
Take another peek at those peaks :D