The runtime commands were only ten lines long. Simple, efficient, and effective, unlike so much else in Becca’s life. Each individual command set off a series of more complex executable batch files. These, in turn, generated multiple processes which Becca refined the previous night following the first successful black hole generation cycle.
“Can we just agree not to make this a primary form of communication? Honestly, I feel like I’m playing a freaking video game when I’m punching out one of these damn messages.
That's what I thought was your intention. Since I can't support you financially right now, the least I can do is some proofing as you've requested..and of course, prayers.
I like it, but I am confused as to what It it is being referred to in
"Instead, each of the holes flickered like lightning and instantaneously doubled in size. Then it doubled again. Becca felt like she was seeing motion under a strobe light. In the span of a millisecond, each black hole grew to the size of a refrigerator, and then a van. Then it doubled again, each nearly reaching the ceiling of the laboratory. " Two instances of "it" each preceded /followed by "each"..
The same confusion for me here:
"Instead, each of the holes flickered like lightning and instantaneously doubled in size. Then it doubled again. Becca felt like she was seeing motion under a strobe light. In the span of a millisecond, each black hole grew to the size of a refrigerator, and then a van. Then it doubled again, each nearly reaching the ceiling of the laboratory. "
maybe it's just me, and it's late and I had imbibed a little at a choir Christmas party.
Made some tweaks. Good catch. That section was a rewrite of a rewrite. I originally had the black holes expanding at different rates (thus the "it"). It should have been "they" once I had them both expanding simultaneously.
This sentence feels awkward to me “She would not only be the first to create a black hole and the second, “. Maybe - “She would not only have created the first black hole but the second”?
Great suspense!
Missing end quote:
“Can we just agree not to make this a primary form of communication? Honestly, I feel like I’m playing a freaking video game when I’m punching out one of these damn messages.
It's the little goof-ups like that one that drive me crazy. Stupid end quote.
That's what I thought was your intention. Since I can't support you financially right now, the least I can do is some proofing as you've requested..and of course, prayers.
I like it, but I am confused as to what It it is being referred to in
"Instead, each of the holes flickered like lightning and instantaneously doubled in size. Then it doubled again. Becca felt like she was seeing motion under a strobe light. In the span of a millisecond, each black hole grew to the size of a refrigerator, and then a van. Then it doubled again, each nearly reaching the ceiling of the laboratory. " Two instances of "it" each preceded /followed by "each"..
The same confusion for me here:
"Instead, each of the holes flickered like lightning and instantaneously doubled in size. Then it doubled again. Becca felt like she was seeing motion under a strobe light. In the span of a millisecond, each black hole grew to the size of a refrigerator, and then a van. Then it doubled again, each nearly reaching the ceiling of the laboratory. "
maybe it's just me, and it's late and I had imbibed a little at a choir Christmas party.
Made some tweaks. Good catch. That section was a rewrite of a rewrite. I originally had the black holes expanding at different rates (thus the "it"). It should have been "they" once I had them both expanding simultaneously.
My bad, same section twice..
This sentence feels awkward to me “She would not only be the first to create a black hole and the second, “. Maybe - “She would not only have created the first black hole but the second”?
Good catch. I tweaked it a bit.
The suspense! What is going to happen next.? And again, description of complex science in a very understandable way. Brilliant!