The deviled eggs were generously sprinkled with too much paprika and diced green onions. The spice had darkened with time, leaving dark maroon patches on the tops of the cooked yolks after they’d been mixed with cheap store-brand mustard and mayonnaise. There were at least two dozen left over, all still carefully arranged upon a platter, covered in Saran Wrap, and placed on the refrigerator’s top shelf.
My heart was breaking reading this chapter. How awful being reverted back to the very first day of how long mourning period. I love the uplifting last paragraph.
1. …had turned out to witness Marie’s internment into the earth.
Should be interment
2. … hastily offered a few words of prayer before the funeral director lead Marie’s burial…
I believe lead should be led
3. You have the possessive of Delores spelled two different ways: Delores’ (once) and Delores’s (twice). Different style books say each is correct, so your choice but just be consistent.
4. proliferous should be prolific
5. … what he amateurishly believed was the approximate of a single shot of whiskey.
approximate should be approximation
6. … where he’d lay just hours before…
lay should be lain
7. It had all happened in a linear time line.
I believe timeline should be one word.
8. He intuitively knew that right at that moment that he was once again living the first day that originally lead to many years of sleepless and lonely nights.
I think you should delete the first and third “that” and also lead should be led:
He intuitively knew right at that moment he was once again living the first day that originally led to many years of sleepless and lonely nights.
9. But this time, Gordon realized with a deep certainty that he’d never had before that, despite everything around him — the food waiting in the fridge, the pile of greeting cards, and even the reappearance of his once dead mother-in-law — that his period of mourning had finally, truly, come to an end.
I have a thing about using the word “that” too often. I feel like this sentence could be written as:
But this time, Gordon realized with a deep certainty he’d never had before, despite everything around him — the food waiting in the fridge, the pile of greeting cards, and even the reappearance of his once dead mother-in-law — his period of mourning had finally, truly, come to an end.
My heart was breaking reading this chapter. How awful being reverted back to the very first day of how long mourning period. I love the uplifting last paragraph.
1. …had turned out to witness Marie’s internment into the earth.
Should be interment
2. … hastily offered a few words of prayer before the funeral director lead Marie’s burial…
I believe lead should be led
3. You have the possessive of Delores spelled two different ways: Delores’ (once) and Delores’s (twice). Different style books say each is correct, so your choice but just be consistent.
4. proliferous should be prolific
5. … what he amateurishly believed was the approximate of a single shot of whiskey.
approximate should be approximation
6. … where he’d lay just hours before…
lay should be lain
7. It had all happened in a linear time line.
I believe timeline should be one word.
8. He intuitively knew that right at that moment that he was once again living the first day that originally lead to many years of sleepless and lonely nights.
I think you should delete the first and third “that” and also lead should be led:
He intuitively knew right at that moment he was once again living the first day that originally led to many years of sleepless and lonely nights.
9. But this time, Gordon realized with a deep certainty that he’d never had before that, despite everything around him — the food waiting in the fridge, the pile of greeting cards, and even the reappearance of his once dead mother-in-law — that his period of mourning had finally, truly, come to an end.
I have a thing about using the word “that” too often. I feel like this sentence could be written as:
But this time, Gordon realized with a deep certainty he’d never had before, despite everything around him — the food waiting in the fridge, the pile of greeting cards, and even the reappearance of his once dead mother-in-law — his period of mourning had finally, truly, come to an end.