2. On more than one of these occasions, Frankie looked up her location on his phone and see a Denny’s or IHOP pop up on the screen.
I would say:
…Frankie would look up her location…
Or
…Frankie looked up her location on his phone and would see…
3. many slipping right back into the places of power they’d held often long before they’d died.
Should be
…power they’d often held…
4. Anamoly should be Anomoly
5. Over the years, Frankie’s confidence was often shaken and he started to just keep his yap shut out of worry that she’d misinterpret what he saw as plain, misunderstand his meaning, or twist it completely around.
Not sure here…should “plain” be “pain” maybe? Or “normal”? I’m confused what you’re trying to say.
Hmmm. I guess I was thinking he couldn't remember the last names of other people, but figured he could remember his wife's last name. Especially since...and I think I'm right on this but now I'm doubting myself...Frankie and Becca have the same last name. I don't think I named them differently. But now I'm doubtful!
1. ENH had offices scattered through Chicago,
My I suggest “throughout” instead of “through”?
2. On more than one of these occasions, Frankie looked up her location on his phone and see a Denny’s or IHOP pop up on the screen.
I would say:
…Frankie would look up her location…
Or
…Frankie looked up her location on his phone and would see…
3. many slipping right back into the places of power they’d held often long before they’d died.
Should be
…power they’d often held…
4. Anamoly should be Anomoly
5. Over the years, Frankie’s confidence was often shaken and he started to just keep his yap shut out of worry that she’d misinterpret what he saw as plain, misunderstand his meaning, or twist it completely around.
Not sure here…should “plain” be “pain” maybe? Or “normal”? I’m confused what you’re trying to say.
That would make sense. 🤣
It’s clear he can’t remember Becca last name but later it says Dr Becca Watts. Did I miss a connection that caused him to remember?
Hmmm. I guess I was thinking he couldn't remember the last names of other people, but figured he could remember his wife's last name. Especially since...and I think I'm right on this but now I'm doubting myself...Frankie and Becca have the same last name. I don't think I named them differently. But now I'm doubtful!