Mickey and Grace hardly knew what to say to each other after Olivia left. Their conversations were lowly, forced, and awkward. Grace found comfort only by sitting in the tattered brown recliner in the living room, which overlooked their western plot of sand-colored fields. She endlessly dialed David’s number over and over and over again, each attempt met with busy signals.
And if nothing returned to the way it was, it stood to reason that by Fall, he’d have the get crops harvested, …
I believe fall should not be capitalized.
“…he’d have to get crops…”
Or
“…he’d have to get the crops…”
2.
For those first few days, though, Grace seemed stuck. Before all this happened, Gracie was usually all business, making lists and getting things done. They weren’t just a family but a farming family.
There seems to be too many spaces between the second and third sentences of this paragraph.
3.
She’d jar up preserves from the strawberries she grew in the large patch garden on the northern edge…
…in the large garden patch…
4.
On some Tuesdays, Grace and a couple of the other farmer’s wives drove…
…other farmers’ wives…
5.
It not only broadcast AM and FM channels but — what seemed to Mickey was a miracle — could pick up over-the-air television broadcasts…
To me, this sounds better (remove “was”):
It not only broadcast AM and FM channels but — what seemed to Mickey a miracle — could pick up over-the-air television broadcasts…
Or:
- what to Mickey seemed a miracle -
6.
He looked back over at the calendar back on the wooden post.
“Back” used twice in this sentence seems a bit awkward to me. Maybe:
He again looked over at the calendar back…
Or:
He glanced again at the calendar back …
Or:
He looked over at the calendar back…
7.
He reached out to Grace and quickly recoiled his hand when another spark arched from the radio
Uh oh- he’s going to have to keep a close eye on Gracie or she’s going into the black hole.
1.
And if nothing returned to the way it was, it stood to reason that by Fall, he’d have the get crops harvested, …
I believe fall should not be capitalized.
“…he’d have to get crops…”
Or
“…he’d have to get the crops…”
2.
For those first few days, though, Grace seemed stuck. Before all this happened, Gracie was usually all business, making lists and getting things done. They weren’t just a family but a farming family.
There seems to be too many spaces between the second and third sentences of this paragraph.
3.
She’d jar up preserves from the strawberries she grew in the large patch garden on the northern edge…
…in the large garden patch…
4.
On some Tuesdays, Grace and a couple of the other farmer’s wives drove…
…other farmers’ wives…
5.
It not only broadcast AM and FM channels but — what seemed to Mickey was a miracle — could pick up over-the-air television broadcasts…
To me, this sounds better (remove “was”):
It not only broadcast AM and FM channels but — what seemed to Mickey a miracle — could pick up over-the-air television broadcasts…
Or:
- what to Mickey seemed a miracle -
6.
He looked back over at the calendar back on the wooden post.
“Back” used twice in this sentence seems a bit awkward to me. Maybe:
He again looked over at the calendar back…
Or:
He glanced again at the calendar back …
Or:
He looked over at the calendar back…
7.
He reached out to Grace and quickly recoiled his hand when another spark arched from the radio
This should be “arced” instead of “arched.”