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I was thinking about that: people who are alive now who don’t want to go back to the future, people who don’t want someone to be dead in the future, people who do want to go back to the future (!)…it’s a conundrum! Can’t wait to see how you resolve it all!

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1.

“If the neighbors ever come back, I don’t think I could look them in the eye if they’d known it was me that broke through their back door,”…

I think you should use “who” since you are referring to a person:

…if they’d known it was me who broke…

2.

and a half-full pot of coffee with a film of mold on top sitting in an ancient-looking Mr. Coffee percolator.

Maybe my own little hang up; Mr Coffee made drip coffee makers, not percolators. Percolators had a solid metal pot where you can’t see the coffee inside (and wouldn’t be able to see the mold). I would suggest just dropping the word “percolator” and ending after Mr. Coffee.

3.

“Looks like one I had right getting married,” Becca said.

Are you missing the word “after”?

“Looks like one I had right after getting married,” Becca said.

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