“We’ll try our best to find a pay phone and call every couple of hours,” Jeremy told Mickey, jingling the pocket full of quarters in his shorts.
1.
“Fixing all this?” David yelled as he got out of the car.
.
“And it’s still there,” Grace said through gritted teeth. “But it may not be for long. Get out of the car, David. Get out right this second.”
David had already gotten out of the car earlier when Grace told him to get out of the car.
2.
…pulling the metal pin from the head of the extinguisher, pointing the house, and dousing the flames in the foam.
“…pointing it at the house,…”
3.
the woman who never quite ever understood her very own daughter,…
Maybe just personal preference, drop “ever.”
1.
“Fixing all this?” David yelled as he got out of the car.
.
.
.
“And it’s still there,” Grace said through gritted teeth. “But it may not be for long. Get out of the car, David. Get out right this second.”
David had already gotten out of the car earlier when Grace told him to get out of the car.
2.
…pulling the metal pin from the head of the extinguisher, pointing the house, and dousing the flames in the foam.
“…pointing it at the house,…”
3.
the woman who never quite ever understood her very own daughter,…
Maybe just personal preference, drop “ever.”