…occurred to her - the possibility — that using the phone…
Mismatched dashes.
2.
Anything metal on you? Fillings and the like?
Why isn’t anyone concerned about fillings?! He mentioned fillings, which you can’t remove, and nobody is concerned? I was frustrated that no one remarked on fillings or worried about what would happen if they have one.
3.
…dropped the contents in his hands onto a small metal cart…
At first it sounded like he dropped the contents INTO his hands then I realized it was the contents OF his hands. To me, it would sound better to say “of” instead of “in.”
1.
…occurred to her - the possibility — that using the phone…
Mismatched dashes.
2.
Anything metal on you? Fillings and the like?
Why isn’t anyone concerned about fillings?! He mentioned fillings, which you can’t remove, and nobody is concerned? I was frustrated that no one remarked on fillings or worried about what would happen if they have one.
3.
…dropped the contents in his hands onto a small metal cart…
At first it sounded like he dropped the contents INTO his hands then I realized it was the contents OF his hands. To me, it would sound better to say “of” instead of “in.”