“Why are you crying?” Tabitha’s father asked when he found her. She was maybe five years old at the time and sobbing uncontrollably, alone in her room. “No one sees me!” “What are you talking about?” “No one sees me!” Tabitha repeated. She was frantic. “They just see my hair!”
Let me just say that I find it amusing that I've worked it so that comments on my posts are more about grammar than the substance of the posts themselves.
I found an error in this paragraph. I'm sure you meant to say "he made his WAY from one laboratory..."
"He was tall and bent, with thin arms and legs, yet he retained a rotund belly that spilled over his belt. He shuffled along everywhere he went, pushing a walker to keep his balance as he made his ONE from one laboratory to the next, always followed close behind by his full-time nurse who diligently stayed two steps behind him wherever he went."
remove first “one”: “pushing a walker to keep his balance as he made his one way from one laboratory to the next,”
Inconsistent capitalizations: Large Hadron Collider and large hadron collider
Maybe my own personal preference? I read this as emotions being plural so… “stirred uneasy emotions within her that was too eerily reminiscent” would be: “stirred uneasy emotions within her that were too eerily reminiscent”
Also, this is a run-on sentence: “It’s special because it’s unlike anyone else’s in our family.” It needs a comma after special. "“It’s special, because it’s unlike anyone else’s in our family.”
Let me just say that I find it amusing that I've worked it so that comments on my posts are more about grammar than the substance of the posts themselves.
Hey, Greg,
I found an error in this paragraph. I'm sure you meant to say "he made his WAY from one laboratory..."
"He was tall and bent, with thin arms and legs, yet he retained a rotund belly that spilled over his belt. He shuffled along everywhere he went, pushing a walker to keep his balance as he made his ONE from one laboratory to the next, always followed close behind by his full-time nurse who diligently stayed two steps behind him wherever he went."
Imbue instead of embue
remove first “one”: “pushing a walker to keep his balance as he made his one way from one laboratory to the next,”
Inconsistent capitalizations: Large Hadron Collider and large hadron collider
Maybe my own personal preference? I read this as emotions being plural so… “stirred uneasy emotions within her that was too eerily reminiscent” would be: “stirred uneasy emotions within her that were too eerily reminiscent”
Also, this is a run-on sentence: “It’s special because it’s unlike anyone else’s in our family.” It needs a comma after special. "“It’s special, because it’s unlike anyone else’s in our family.”
leery is most commonly spelled with two e's, not leary. https://writingexplained.org/leary-or-leery-spelling
I think this “white beard held a roadmap” should be “white beard hid a roadmap”?
Not sure, but it seems you do not need the comma in the following sentence. “...earliest strong memory, of being ...”