PART VI - BACK AND FORTH
1.
…tea - Darjeeling, dark and bitter — instead…
Mismatched dashes.
2.
…headline - Ronnie’s Romp! - lookin….
These are en dashes while the rest of the chapter (save for the mismatched one) has em dashes.
3.
…the size of a basketball and inflating with size with each ticking second.
Maybe my own personal preference but I think “inflating in size with each…” would sound better.
I love how Becca is coming to the realization that she totally messed things up the first time around. Will she get a second chance? Intriguing.
1.
…tea - Darjeeling, dark and bitter — instead…
Mismatched dashes.
2.
…headline - Ronnie’s Romp! - lookin….
These are en dashes while the rest of the chapter (save for the mismatched one) has em dashes.
3.
…the size of a basketball and inflating with size with each ticking second.
Maybe my own personal preference but I think “inflating in size with each…” would sound better.
I love how Becca is coming to the realization that she totally messed things up the first time around. Will she get a second chance? Intriguing.