Tony summarily realized it wasn’t a chimney but a silo as wide as the length of the container itself.
So I’m picturing a rectangular container and the “length” is the long dimension. Is that what you intended for the silo diameter? I feel like maybe the diameter is the width of the container (the shorter dimension). If so, then:
…but a silo as wide as the width of the container itself.
2.
“So, to be clear,” Tony said, itching at his bushy mustache like a chipmunk grooming itself after a meal. “You weren’t expecting to find a missile right here in a missile silo…
- I think it should be “scratching” rather than “itching.”
- Also, the first quote is not a standalone sentence but rather is connected to the second quote so I suggest:
“So, to be clear,” Tony said, scratching at his bushy mustache like a chipmunk grooming itself after a meal, “you weren’t expecting to find a missile right here in a missile silo…
3.
but with a much wider and powerful circumference.
I read this as “much” modifying both wider and powerful so instead I suggest:
but with a much wider and more powerful circumference.
4.
“This one’s payload is more like basic satellite technology than expected for something capable of more disruption than you can imagine…
This sentence was difficult for me to decipher the meaning. I think this would be clearer (to me at least!):
“This one’s payload is more like basic satellite technology than you’d expect for something capable of more disruption than you can imagine…
5.
“All of your scientists who get it in your heads to make stuff that can kill everything.”
1.
Tony summarily realized it wasn’t a chimney but a silo as wide as the length of the container itself.
So I’m picturing a rectangular container and the “length” is the long dimension. Is that what you intended for the silo diameter? I feel like maybe the diameter is the width of the container (the shorter dimension). If so, then:
…but a silo as wide as the width of the container itself.
2.
“So, to be clear,” Tony said, itching at his bushy mustache like a chipmunk grooming itself after a meal. “You weren’t expecting to find a missile right here in a missile silo…
- I think it should be “scratching” rather than “itching.”
- Also, the first quote is not a standalone sentence but rather is connected to the second quote so I suggest:
“So, to be clear,” Tony said, scratching at his bushy mustache like a chipmunk grooming itself after a meal, “you weren’t expecting to find a missile right here in a missile silo…
3.
but with a much wider and powerful circumference.
I read this as “much” modifying both wider and powerful so instead I suggest:
but with a much wider and more powerful circumference.
4.
“This one’s payload is more like basic satellite technology than expected for something capable of more disruption than you can imagine…
This sentence was difficult for me to decipher the meaning. I think this would be clearer (to me at least!):
“This one’s payload is more like basic satellite technology than you’d expect for something capable of more disruption than you can imagine…
5.
“All of your scientists who get it in your heads to make stuff that can kill everything.”
Should this be “All of you scientists…”?