The hours that followed days were like slow painful labor, a perpetual ache amplified by repeated phone calls met with nothing more than busy signals and occasional false hopes from ringtones suddenly interrupted and disconnected. Once after dialing, the phone rang and continued to ring for several minutes before the line fell ominously silent. It gave Olivia a sinking in her gut nearly the same as when Jeremy had called and told her David had drowned in his kayaking accident.
Yes I did enjoy this chapter very much. It was hard to read and emotionally fraught, compelling. Interesting twist with her teacher’s fate. My suggestions:
1. “You got nearly doubt that out of her,” Grace remembered.
I believe you meant “double”.
2. A half mile further down the road they turned left onto fourteenth
I believe Fourteenth should be capitalized since it’s the name of the street.
Yes I did enjoy this chapter very much. It was hard to read and emotionally fraught, compelling. Interesting twist with her teacher’s fate. My suggestions:
1. “You got nearly doubt that out of her,” Grace remembered.
I believe you meant “double”.
2. A half mile further down the road they turned left onto fourteenth
I believe Fourteenth should be capitalized since it’s the name of the street.
Good catches once again. Thanks!