As with everything now, it all boiled down to time, the preciousness of a second, the precariousness of a minute, and the ability of a single hour to transform lives for eternity.
1.
…to join her and Tabitha on three floors below.
I think leaving out “on” would sound better.
2.
“Is Mom and Dad there with you?”
Should be “Are Mom and Dad…”
3.
…a black hole - the same one that had chased them down the narrow concrete hallways of ENH like a mammoth pulsing black orb — was…
This is just an example of mismatched dashes.
1.
…to join her and Tabitha on three floors below.
I think leaving out “on” would sound better.
2.
“Is Mom and Dad there with you?”
Should be “Are Mom and Dad…”
3.
…a black hole - the same one that had chased them down the narrow concrete hallways of ENH like a mammoth pulsing black orb — was…
This is just an example of mismatched dashes.